FF7 Ramble
by SilverWinglie
Summary: Ummmmmmm....yeah. A ramble.


This is the first ramble I've posted on FF.Net, but not my first...anyways...it's a ramble with a mega self-insert ^^;; I can't write 'em any other way. I gotta be there, ya know? *All stare* Oh, you may remember this from my blooper fic, and Cloud's passion for watermelons. Okay, well, anyway...here's the...  
  
*FF7 Ramble of Complete Insanity and Odd Things*  
  
~Riiiiight, so...begin!~  
~Silver  
  
***  
  
(Scene opens in Silver's living room. The cast of FF7, minus Cloud, is hanging out on the couches. Yuffie is sitting with her face literally on the TV, drooling over 'The Kleptomaniac Hour.')  
  
Yuffie: "Ooooooo...I gotta learn how to do that..."  
  
Tifa: "Do what?"  
  
Yuffie: "Oh, nothing..."  
  
Silver: *Walks in, humming the wedding march*  
  
All Except Yuffie+Vincent: *Look*  
  
Vincent: *Sighs* "I've had enough experience with that Winglie to know that this isn't good..."  
  
Aeris: "Oh, experience, HUH? What *exactly* would you mean by THAT?!?!" *Eye twitch*  
  
Vincent: *Looks at Aeris oddly* "I mean I've spent enough time around her."  
  
Aeris: "Oh." *Resumes watching TV*  
  
Silver: *Walks over to the couch and sits down practically on top of Vincent*  
  
Vincent: *Moves away quickly*  
  
Sephiroth: *Snickers*  
  
Silver: *Puts her arm around Vincent and sets her hand on his gun- which is on the opposite side of where she's sitting*  
  
Vincent: *Flinches* "Please...move away from me..."  
  
Sephiroth: *Practically suffocates trying not to laugh *too* loudly*  
  
Cloud: *Walks in, wearing a long khaki skirt, blouse, and platform shoes. He's also carrying a watermelon*  
  
All: *Turn and stare*  
  
Cloud: *Smiles* "Hey, guys, I'd like to introduce you to my future wife..." *Hugs the watermelon* "Ophellia!"  
  
All: *Stare*  
  
Cloud: *Sees the TV* "Ooooooo, the Klepto Hour!" *Drops the watermelon in Sephiroth's lap and runs to the TV*  
  
Sephiroth: "Urp..." *Winces* "Ooooooo..."  
  
Yuffie+Cloud: *Start singing the Klepto Hour's themesong*  
  
Aeris: *Casually looks over at Sephiroth* "Oh, Cloud brought snacks!" *Goes and picks up the watermelon*  
  
Sephiroth: *Eyes water* "thank...youuuu.............."  
  
Cloud: *Doesn't even look* "PUT DOWN OPHELLIA RIGHT NOW, AERIS!"  
  
Aeris: *Frowns* "Okay, fine, Mr. Grumpy-Pants!" *Drops the watermelon back in Sephiroth's lap*  
  
Sephiroth: "OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWWWWWWWW!!!"  
  
Silver: *Gets up, pulling Vincent up by the hand* "I'm just going to check on Yuffie and make sure she's not getting into trouble, 'kay?"  
  
All: "'Kay..."  
  
Silver: *Runs off, dragging Vincent with her*  
  
All: "..."  
  
Yuffie: "Hey, where'd she say she was going?"  
  
Red XIII: "To check on Yuffie."  
  
Yuffie: "Oh, okay."  
  
All: "..."  
  
All: "..."  
  
Yuffie: "Hey..."  
  
All: *Realization hits them* "HEY!"  
  
Barret: "Yo, that Winglie brat kidnapped Vincent!"  
  
Tifa: "...Again." *Sighs and puts on her gloves* "I'll go find 'em before things get bad."  
  
Yuffie: "The Klepto Hour's over, I guess I'll come." *Picks up her shuriken*  
  
Aeris: "Me too! I can't stand it when she does this! It's so wrong!" *Picks up her staff*   
  
Cait Sith: *Is sleeping in the corner, oblivious*  
  
Cid: "I must protect love-bunny!"  
  
All: *Stare*  
  
Cid: "Erm...Vincent, yeah, that's it..." *Picks up his spear*  
  
Cloud: "I'll come. Ophellia can stop that Winglie, she's a super-heroine! Sailor Watermelon!" *Pulls a Sailor Scout outfit out of his pocket, takes the watermelon out of Sephiroth's lap, and puts the suit on it* "Ta-da!"  
  
Sephiroth: *Wince, cringe* "I'll come...If I can walk..." *Picks up his masamune*  
  
Red XIII: "I'll come, too! I am a WARRIOR!" *Growls*  
  
Barret: "I'll come, but only 'cause Cloud's going!"  
  
Cloud: *Glares* "Ophellia's the only woman in my life!"  
  
Barret: "Yeah, well, I can CHANGE THAT!"  
  
Cloud: "Oh yeah?"  
  
Barret: "YEAH!"  
  
All: *Stare*  
  
***  
  
(Scene opens on the street outside Silver's house. Everyone's walking down the road)  
  
Yuffie: "So...where exactly are we going?"  
  
All: "Um..."  
  
Tifa: "I know! We'll follow their scent!"  
  
All: "...?"  
  
Tifa: "Red XIII! You sniff the ground and tell us if it smells like Vincent or Winglie girls!"  
  
Red XIII: "I refuse to be disgraced in such a way!"  
  
Tifa: "I'll give ya a Scooby Snack!"  
  
Red XIII: *Growls* "Ummmmmm........o-kay..."  
  
Yuffie: *Giggles madly* "And I'll give you another one if you mark your territory!"  
  
All: *Stare at Yuffie*  
  
Red XIII: "You're sick." *Starts sniffing the ground*  
  
Sephiroth: "Hey...wait...for...me..." *Comes waddling along behind them*  
  
***  
  
(Time passes...)  
  
Red XIII: *Smashes right into a pair of huge double doors* "OW! The scent goes in here."  
  
All: *Look at the building*  
  
Cloud: "It looks like Aeris' house...so..." *Looks thoughtful*  
  
Aeris: *Looks astonished* "It's a church!"  
  
Tifa: "But it's not Sunday!"  
  
All: *Look at the building*  
  
Yuffie: "Knowing Vincent..." *Frowns* "I'll bet it's a funeral."  
  
Sephiroth: *Winces* "Yeah...but knowing Silver, I'll bet it's a..."  
  
All: *Look at each other, eyes wide* "WEDDING!" *Shrieking in terror, rush into the building*  
  
(A bride and groom are at the end of a long aisle, and there's a priest. The audience is from several different video games, LoD, FF8, OoT, MM, etc...)  
  
Tifa: "Oh NO! That bride has..."  
  
All: "WINGS!" *Scream of horror*  
  
Priest: "And do you..."  
  
All: *Hold their breath*  
  
Priest: "...Vincent Valentine..."  
  
All: *Look ready to faint*  
  
Priest: "...Take Silver..."  
  
All: *Sit down on the ground in unison with looks of shock*  
  
Priest: "...To be your lawfully wedded wife?"  
  
Vincent: "Ummmm..."  
  
Silver: *Kicks him in the shin* "Say it or you're meat!"  
  
Vincent: *Glare*  
  
Cid: "Don't say it don't say it don't say it don't say it..."  
  
Silver: *Looks ready to cry* ~Fake, of course! :D~ "Don't ruin my day, Vincent!" *Looks at him sadly* "Think of how you felt with Lucrecia..."  
  
Vincent: *Hangs his head* "I...do..."  
  
Cid: "^#%#*(@(#^$&%@(*@!&(#^$^&@()*#$&^*$*^$*&)@&*(@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Silver: *Immediate grin*  
  
Priest: "If anyone objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace..."  
  
Cid: "*#&(^$(*^#@*&%$(*^$(*^@*&%(*#^(^#@)(!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Cloud: *Growls* "You're ruining it!" *Throws the watermelon at Cid, knocking him out cold* "I love weddings."  
  
Aeris: "This just can't be. It isn't right. You know this is a disaster, Vincent. Come on, change your mind now...Vincent...please..."  
  
Priest: "I know pronounce you man and wife! You may now kiss the bride!"  
  
Vincent: *Suddenly looks very afraid*  
  
Silver: *Practically tackles him* "Oh, I'm so HAPPY!" :D  
  
Vincent: "MRPHMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Audience: *Applauds loudly*   
  
Aeris: "We're...too...late..."  
  
Sephiroth: "That's not all..."  
  
All: *Look at Sephiroth*  
  
Sephiroth: "Imagine what their children will be like...flying hyperactive Vincents."  
  
All: *Look of utmost horror*  
  
***  
  
The end. Yeah, I know, it wasn't my best ramble ever, but I like it, mainly 'cause I marry Vincent! :D Anyways, Vincent/Cloud/Cid/Barret and possibly Sephiroth lovers, flame me if you must. *Sigh* Okay, that's it for now. 


End file.
